Upper Mount Bethel Township residents Ed Hill and David Palmer are among plaintiffs in the first known legal challenge to a law that bans same-sex marriage in Pennsylvania.
Months shy of their 25th year together, Ed Hill and David Palmer married in Maine on May 10 surrounded by friends and family.
The couple, 67 and 65 respectively, had only just begun discussing marriage in recent years. Palmer was a bit reluctant given the complexities. Pennsylvania, the place in which they met, fell in love and relocated, would not recognize the marriage. After speaking with their accountants and financial adviser, Hill said his husband agreed.
"We had no idea how significant it would be for us. It has changed our relationship. It has revitalized our relationship. It has made us to look at one another in a different way," Hill said speaking from their Upper Mount Bethel Township home. "He's my husband. It is still hard for us to say those words sometimes, because we are so used to saying partner or some other word that you use that is so much less than that."
Hill and Palmer are plaintiffs in the first known legal challenge to a law that effectively bans same-sex marriage in Pennsylvania. The American Civil Liberties Union on Tuesday announced that it filed the suit in federal court in Harrisburg on behalf of one widow, 10 couples and one of the couple's two teenage daughters. Four of the couples, including Hill and Palmer, are legally married in other states but their marriages go unrecognized by Pennsylvania.
'Ready to be recognized'
It's a blessing that the ACLU is now pursuing the suit, Hill said.
"We are so ready to be recognized as a married couple in Pennsylvania," he said.
Hill and Palmer were contacted by the ACLU after they each filled out a survey on Equality Pennsylvania's Facebook page. Hill said one night they each completed it at the same time while sitting in their den and then told the other. After meeting with the legal team, Hill said they had no doubts about participating.
"I am just thrilled," Hill said of being a party to the suit. "I don't think we would have felt the same way. We got married on May 10 and I don't think we would have felt the same way if we hadn't been married."
While lawyers are bracing the couples involved for a long battle, Hill is optimistic that times are changing. And the day Pennsylvania recognizes their union, they'll already be married, he said.
A chance meeting
Hill and Palmer just have to glance out their window to see the place they first met: Kirkridge Retreat and Study Center. They followed varied paths to the retreat.
Palmer came out while pursuing a master's degree in theology at Drew University. He'd intended on becoming a Methodist clergyman but felt there was no role for him in the church at that point. A chance trip to join an archaeological dig connected him with a curator from the Newark museum and led to a 31-year career at the museum where he was director of exhibitions.
Hill is a U.S. Navy Vietnam veteran and he has a son from his first marriage to a woman. After he came out at 30, he threw himself into the gay scene in Allentown and Whitehall Township, making up for lost time. He also relished his role as father and full-time caregiver.
After his wife remarried and his son went to live with his mom again, Hill said his life felt a bit empty. So he enrolled in graduate courses at DeSales University.
His interest in religion grew at DeSales and he devoted himself to living a Christian life, he said. He came to the retreat hoping to find guidance on how to live with being gay and celibate.
Instead, he fell in love.
After a two-year long-distance relationship, Hill and Palmer bought a house in Maplewood, N.J., and Hill transferred from his Philadelphia job with the Department of Veterans Affairs to a local position. They kept close ties with Kirkridge and in 1997, they jumped at the opportunity to buy a home built by the center's founder and open a bed-and-breakfast.
"It is still a very special place for us," said Hill, now retired.
But they could not marry where they met.
The couple chose to marry in Maine after gay marriage was legalized because Hill's aunt, who is almost 90, lives there with her children and they visit her every holiday. One of the most touching parts of the ceremony was when the couple had their friends and family bless the rings they've worn for years, Hill said.
"I had been married before but I was young. I was young and rather immature for my age," Hill said. "I loved my wife and we had a pretty good marriage for awhile but nothing prepared me for getting married to David."