Name game: Carmakers should quit confusing consumers and stick to simplicity

Express-Times auto columnist Scott Wasser says long-winded alphanumeric names simply confound customers.

Impala. Malibu. Corvette.

Focus. Taurus. Even F150.

Those are proper vehicle names. IS 350C is not, and neither is 740Lix or CLS550 4MATIC.

Those last three appellations might seem perfectly logical and appropriate to the manufacturers’ sales and marketing geniuses (or, heaven forbid, the engineers) who named them.

But they make no sense to the people who really matter: Consumers like you and me who have difficulty deciphering, differentiating and remembering the cryptic model designations so commonplace in today’s automotive world.

I’m sure there are car buffs who can tell you that a 2000 model-year BMW 323ci is a coupe but a 2001 BMW 325ci is a convertible. Then again, there also are people who can recite the entire Periodic Table of chemical elements.

Unfortunately, those people — the ones who know that the BMW 2002 is a model, not a model year — never seem to be around when you’re trying to remember what differentiates a Mercedes-Benz CLS550 coupe from a CL550 coupe.

I started thinking about today’s trend toward wacky alphanumeric naming conventions while writing last week’s column. The subject was a Lexus IS 350C, which I referred to in captions as an IS350 C. Catching my mistake, I warned my editor and then proceeded to write a column in which I referred to the vehicle as an IS 350 C.

I think.

Regardless of what I called Lexus’ gorgeous convertible, I’m still confused about its name … and it’s not my fault. Lexus referred to it three different ways on its own websites.

I’ve seen similar inconsistencies on other manufacturers’ official websites and in advertisements. I can’t cite them offhand because such mistakes are so common I typically ignore them.

Interestingly, I’ve never seen Chevrolet misspell Malibu, Impala or Corvette. Nor can I recall the folks at Pontiac even once butchering Bonneville, and you can imagine how easy it would be to screw up that name.

But basic names seem easier to remember and to consistently spell correctly than alphanumeric designations.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with alphanumeric names, some of which have become iconic. But for every Fiat 500, it seems, you’ve got a nondescript Volkswagen Type 1 — the official name of the original Beetle.

Nondescript, however, is probably better than overly descriptive when it comes to automotive nomenclature. The best example of the latter might be Mercedes-Benz pre-1994 naming conventions, which would have been funnier than an Abbott and Costello routine if they weren’t so maddening.

Tom and Ray Magliozzi — better known as “Click and Clack” — did a hilarious Car Talk column about the then current Mercedes model designations in 1989. What made it so funny is that what they said was absolutely true.

Simple and elegant will suffice

Mercedes tried to get its naming act together in 1994 by redefining and streamlining what had to have been the most eclectic, erratic and just plain ludicrous naming conventions ever used. In its place, it came up with a seemingly simple yet elegant system in which one to three letters identify the vehicle class and three numbers designate the model’s engine size.

A good current example is the Mercedes-Benz C350, which is a C-Class sedan with a 3.5-liter engine.

Lately, however, Mercedes has been slipping back into old habits. The current C250, for example, is a C-Class vehicle, but its engine displaces 1.8, not 2.5 liters.

Does the company think calling it a C180 would make the luxury vehicle seem underpowered? Or is Mercedes suggesting that the turbocharged 1.8-liter engine’s 201 horsepower and 229 pounds-feet of torque output are more typical of a 2.5-liter, non-turbocharged engine?

Either way, it’s confusing. But alphanumeric naming conventions don’t have to be. When manufacturers apply logic and consistency to their model designations, it can tell you a lot about a vehicle.

Audis generally provide a good example of that. The A6 2.0T is a midsize 6-Series luxury sedan with a 2-liter engine. The A6 3.0T is the same class car with a 3-liter engine. If you see the word “quattro” attached to any Audi model, it means that the vehicle has all-wheel drive.

So consistency is as important as logic. Manufacturers don’t have to deal with either when they think like parents trying to name a newborn. Mustang… Firebird… Thunderbird. They’re simple, evocative and distinctive names that never confused anyone.

Then, again, you have to wonder what some folks were thinking – or smoking – when they came up with Skylark, Bluebird and Paseo.

Obviously using names instead of alphanumerics doesn’t ensure that a manufacturer isn’t going to mess up. Over the years, Cadillac in official company literature referred to one of its most popular models as Coupe deVille, Coupe DeVille and Coupe de Ville.

So maybe instead of chastising automakers for using cryptic nomenclature, I should be thanking them and simply hope they eventually do it right. Wouldn’t that be a real coupé… or coupe… or coup!